As They Are - Differentiating with Love in the Christian Classroom

Kathleen Van Tol | December 2008

She was very quiet and reserved when she first came to us. She was quite petite and her face looked tiny beneath a thick fringe of bangs. She was uncertain of herself, but wanted so much to do well. She would patiently wait her turn for help and was grateful for the assistance we could give her. She always seemed to be careful about not monopolizing too much of our time, concerned that others have the opportunity to get help from us as well.

As we got to know her better during that year, we really appreciated her gentle spirit. Our other Korean students had so much more confidence than she did. Sometimes when one of us was helping her, another of the Korean students would sit down, place their books right over the top of hers, and demand, "Help me." In these situations, she would always be willing to yield her position to the other students. Instead, though, we would widen the circle saying, "Yes, I can help you as well," even as we wondered why the other students felt as though their needs were more important.

During second semester, she made the girl's JV soccer team. I went several times to watch her matches. Each time I went, she did not get a chance to play. She felt so badly that I would take time to go to her game, only to see her sit on the bench the whole time. I told her that I didn't mind and joked that perhaps I should stop coming to her games because she seemed to get opportunities to play only if I wasn't there. Being on the team, however, did appear to increase her confidence some, but it also made her so very tired. The burden of hours of homework, on top of practice and games, seemed almost too much for her. I think, though, that the opportunity to widen her small circle of friends was worth it, even if she didn't play much.

She missed her family a great deal and was homesick a lot. I was glad she had the opportunity to travel home for the summer. I was also glad to know she was coming back in the fall. Her family had struggled with that choice as our school had decided, for a number of good reasons, to begin working with a different agency starting that fall which would increase the cost. I learned that she was going to go to school all summer in Korea specifically to prepare for taking the ACT and the SAT. I didn't think that sounded like much fun, but at least she would have the chance to be with her parents again.

This fall when she walked through the door, I was so pleased to see her. I was pleasantly surprised as well. Gone were the meek demeanor and the thick fringe of bangs. Instead, she sported a confident smile and a new haircut that was very becoming. The awkward teenager had morphed into a beautiful butterfly. Following her into the room was a new student from Korea. This new student is very quiet and unsure of herself. She is petite with a tiny face beneath a thick fringe of bangs. She seems to rely on us for assistance and reassurance. I think she is going to turn out just fine.

Kathleen Van Tol is the Educational Support Services Coordinator for Holland Christian High School in Holland, Michigan.